it was time
It started in the spring, I was trying to watch a show on Netflix. And Netflix needed me to download an app called Starlight. I did as was told and my computer didn't like it. The screen turned blue and green and glitchy, I was worried it would throw up. Then it shut down and started booping at me. Not beeping, it was a low boop. I know that I have mentioned the rainbow wheel of death before, but the boop is even more ominously terrifying. The screen goes black and all that is seen as a sign of life is the power light flashing to the low, methodic, three strike of the boop followed by a pause, and then the booping again. (I know I'm overusing my authoritative license with the onomatopoeia of boop but I know you'll get over it).
It started up the next day ok, but then I went to watch my favourite documentary about creative people that make clothes, then are judged (and I rarely agree with the judges) then get sent home one by one until one is left standing and wins a half a million worth in prizes. It's a great documentary that isn't available on Canadian television so I have to use the internet. I thought it was the internet punishing me, first for "borrowing" my brother's Netflix account, then for watching American programming. It fizzle-dazzle-bleep-zoinked turned blue, green and yellow and then, yep, went black and followed up with the low methodic boops.
I panicked. I called my tech support brother and we googled a few things, but I knew that she needed a doctor. I took her to the guys that answered their phone (service people are so busy-and speak dot-matrix-they should really all have calm receptionists that can handle people in near tears over their computers). I left her with them for a few days and eventually had to just go and get it. And they didn't find anything, they couldn't get the problem to repeat itself, but it was a warning sign. She was on her last legs. Thankfully I had done a really stupid move a few months earlier and deleted my entire photo library so had to get an external drive to recover all of the images that had ever passed through my screen. It was painful but it taught me a valuable lesson, don't delete your trash without thinking about it first. Also, back that crap up!
I wanted to wait for the fall to replace my computer. It felt more like a back to school thing and it meant that the latest upgrades would be on the biggest screen for the machine I wanted. I am a princess, don't act like you don't think I know you think that (read that phrase four times really fast). And on Monday, I opened a picture and she went frizzle-dazzle-bleep-zoink blue, green, yellow, pink, then yellow and back to blue, then a black screen and the boops. I took her back in, and then went through the stages of grief rather quickly.
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.
Denial. I thought, I have a few more miles out of her, it's always been old faithful, why would it stop now. Probably because it's 6 years old - acceptance was already fighting its way in at this stage.
Anger. What the heck am I going to do if it is dead!? Short lived and not really that angry because I had a complete back up of my computer. And just in case you missed it before, back that crap up!
Bargaining. Maybe if I can get one more month out of it then an upgrade will come and it will fix it, or I'll have a windfall of cash flow in so I can upgrade. My 60+ year old mother told me over the phone that it was time for an upgrade, "don't waste another breath just go buy a new one."
"But mooooooommmm..." I had nothing.
Depression. This hit hard and fast, then went away as quickly as it came. I thought back to the first picture that I took with the computer - it was with my now husband. We were just friends at the time and I was preparing to go away to school. I thought of the many hours that we spent on Skype, the long distance dates that we had through the phone watching other documentaries about one man dating 25 women in an effort to find true love that was the most dramatic ever. My thesis. My whole thesis. Everything about my thesis. Did I mention my thesis? Countless movies, and of course blog posts. My transition into the digital world of diary entries that are published for anyone to see. It was a vessel that so much transferred through. I shed a couple of tears.
Acceptance. After the tears I laughed a little. I gave my head a shake and I went and bought a new computer. And confirmation of my choice came as soon as I left the mall, the computer place had called to tell me that the video board was crashing, and that means the logic board would have to be replaced (more dot-matrix speak) and it was not worth fixing. I laughed again, and said to the man, "I just bought a new one, I will come pick up the remains". He charged me $38 to confirm what my non-tech-savvy mom already knew. Just another nail in the coffin.
I booted it up to transfer the information over to the new one and it lasted about 20 seconds before it frizzle-dazzle-bleep-zoink-BLACK-boop-boop-booped. Onwards and upwards. So after installing the back up to the new computer through the terabyte drive (now who sound dot-matrix) I came here and did a blog post. Maybe one day I'll do a thesis on this one.
Now, go and back that crap up!