Dragon, it's your birthday

It is my brother's birthday today. And I thought of no better way to celebrate him than to devote my blog to him and his special day (I was late getting his present off in the mail).

He is away at school and I know that he is probably too busy to even read this but this will hit on his love languages, which is really ANY of them except for gifts. Yes you read that right, he is one of the few people that doesn't really love his birthday because he has never really loved getting gifts. He is a very selfless person and birthdays stress him out because he is the hardest person in the world to buy a present for mostly because he's not that big on gifts. Who doesn't like gifts? Let me repeat that, his birthday stresses him out because he doesn't want to disappoint anyone. The thing with my brother is, you could give him a present that blows his socks right off of his feet and he would say "thanks, that's great". Or you could give him a pile of dog poop and he would say, "thanks, that's great". He is so gracious, and never about a show. And he wants everyone who is at his birthday to feel equally appreciated. So it stresses him out having to make everyone feel like they have done an equally great job at buying him a present, but it's all a facade because if they had just showed up empty handed, gave him a punch in the arm, and shared a laugh he would have liked that just as much, if not exponentially more, than a present. Many of us have ended up buying him terrible gag gifts throughout the years just to see his response *cough cough MOM cough cough*.

The crazy thing is, I love gifts, but I am a terrible gift giver. Whereas he could care less about receiving gifts but he is one of the best gift givers that I have received from. So sending him a present for his birthday is not the way to truly celebrate him (but it's on its way anyway because that is what you do for birthdays...hope you like it!!) I see this as my 'showing up, punching him in the arm, and having a good laugh' type thing.

To go along with the whole gift thing, you may die after you read this, he throws out cards. I know! You would think that everyone loves gifts and cards. Not him...

But I made him keep a card once.

I was out shopping in November for Christmas and I came across a birthday card that made me cry laughing. I could not get over it. I bought it for him in November for his birthday in April. If you know anything about me this is highly out of character. I am (a) not good at keeping secrets, (b) never that prepared for a birthday, and (c) not good at keeping in a surprise. You may think that keeping secrets and surprises are the same thing but they're not, because I get so excited about surprises that I give hints and try to get people as excited as I am. By the time I gave him the card I don't think I met the epic expectations I had laid out for him.

I waited for his birthday party because I wanted a huge audience to laugh with us (purely altruistic motives here, I promise). I handed him the flimsy dollar store card in the envelope, I was already squealing with laughter and he, good-naturedly, took the card and opened it. There I was crying from laughter and shaking in anticipation; he read it:

Dragon, its your birthday (with a picture of a dragon on the front and the wrong 'its')
Happy birthday (on the inside)

It made zero decimal zero zero sense.


It didn't use proper grammar, just a picture of a really poorly drawn dragon with this cheesy grin on his face.

And the sentiment on the inside didn't match the outside. It could have said, don't light your candles again with your fiery breath, or, hope it's a hot one.

No, it said happy birthday. It was terrible. And it was terribly awesome.

My sides hurt from laughing so hard, my cheeks were burning from the grin on my face.

He chuckled. But didn't get it on the level that I did. So I started to explain it. Because it's always funny when you explain a joke to someone, it just makes them suddenly get it and laugh really really hard.

Finally, deadpan, I just said, "it is literally the worst card in the world" to which he agreed and then laughed. And then he did something that he has never done before, he kept the card. I had found the crappiest, cheapest, most nonsensical card, and he kept it.

He has probably tossed it since he has moved, and that is ok, but every year I will get to say,  "Dragon, its your birthday" and it will make no sense and we will both have a good laugh.

Happy birthday Dragon.

That's all.


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