Being short has more perks

I was attempting to be productive today, and shockingly (not really) ended up on facebook. I saw one of my former student's status that read "I'm short, I get it". I read into this update as shortness being a downfall and an undesirable trait; however, I believe it to be a positive thing and something that tall people wish for (It is akin to having curly hair and wanting straight hair).

The benefits of being short far outweigh the negatives.  First of all, for short women, and I guess some men out there, wearing high heels is never an issue. You will most likely become average height upon sporting some high heels and become eye level with most people unlike looking down on people like some of my ├╝ber-tall friends have to deal with.

Second, being short means that you will never have to worry about bumping your knee on the steering wheel if someone forgot to move the driver's seat back. And you don't have to read reviews on which car to buy since all of them have the option of being three inches from the steering wheel and pedals.

Third, short people do not get harassed nearly as much as tall people do for their height. I have tall friends that consistently get asked, "how tall are you?" as if they were a circus attraction.  And I am not kidding with this, when I was at an outdoor concert, I stood beside a lady that was a few inches taller than me and a man who was most definitely a foot taller than both of us stepped in front of her. She went on and on for almost the entire show about how life had been so difficult being short and that this man had no right to stand in front of her. How dare he move into an open spot with a direct view of the band?  I mean, get over it lady, he was born to be tall, and we were born to look for hills and step stools in order to be able to see festival stages.

Fourth, I know that we have to search for pants at different lengths, and lately a 34" inseam is the norm, but clothes are often easier to find.  It is much easier to shorten anything than it is to lengthen something. I get to wear short-shorts and skirts in the summer because most people are looking down on me, in contrast, my 5'11" girlfriend, in the same shorts and skirts, would be immodest.

Finally (and only because this post is getting long, not because I have run out of arguments), when you're short you can always stand on a chair, sit on a pillow, put your feet on a foot rest, or go up on your tippy toes.  But when you're tall you cannot saw off your legs, walk half your height, fit in every car, be comfortable in any situation, or take normal pictures when you're bent in half. My apologies to the plight of my tall friends, I love you and am jealous of your extravagant vistas at greater altitudes. Why else would I wear high heels?

That's all.


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